a reply to Sexicon:
i will try my best to answer your questions. first, let me be clear that i am making an effort to be honest here (though i have my own fantasies and enjoy
reading others'). by "type a," i mean that i am in part very driven, very successful, very intense... (if also very polite, unsexist and deferential). this
is a family trait, and for me something of a curse, if only because my job forces me to work long hours, weekends, holidays etc. i am sure that my extreme
submissiveness is in part a reaction to these pressures and expectations. yapoo is a way to escape from myself (a way to destroy this successful part of
myself). during the 60s, my mother was a promising academic with a PhD and a high powered job. she gave it up to have children and never forgave my father
for his success. she hates me as my father's son, and has inculcated in me (for better and worse) a hatred of men, masculinity and myself. in a way, you
could look at my mother as a dominatrix without the kink or sex (my father, despite his career, does most of the housework and traditional "women's work).
she was the kind of mother who would relentlessly criticize my efforts even from a very young age, usually in a language of reverse sexism. i am grateful
that i am submissive, but i am not fond of her or of my childhood or family life. it did however mean that i have been essentially submissive from young
childhood. shit did not have too much to do with it until my early teenage years (for some reason i did not think much about shit specifically even while
licking the toilet etc. ealier). as for the question of feminine beauty... for me it is more than beauty, but an acknowlegment of the perfection of women,
an acknowlegment that i should be grateful for anything given or done to me by women. it is an absolute lowering of expectations. i am a very talented cook, and as such eating shit is a denial of this human pleasure and talent. eating shit takes a personal strength and renders it into a weakness.
i have never had any health problems of any sort, though this is a legitimate concern. there is a vaccine for hepatitis a, but e coli is more troublesome. i am not really too concerned, though daily consumption or anonymous consumption would
change the calculus.